Mar 1, 2013

Chicken or Egg, Marriage or Kids

The recent news of a celebrity or whatever saying that she puts her marriage first and kid second got every one all up in arms. Some agree with her, some disagree with her and some just don't care (which is probably best thing to do at times). Funny this came to light now though. I had my share of dirty looks when I said my life does not revolve around V but he is just a part of it. Sorry, not going to happen. Doesn't mean I love him any less. Just that he is going to be an adult and walk out and I have me and P-man left in the house. So I need to get my priorities right.

For the last couple of years I have been thinking about the kind of impact my parents and others' marriage in my life had on me. And the answer always seems to be: Not that great. My parents are good (and may I say awesome) role models for parenting. They are awesome when it comes to being there for others. They are the last people you want to go for marriage advice though. I wonder if it's just a cultural thing. Not just them, there are others in my life who have been married for long and some how everyone seems to just become roommates after a while and not husband and wife.

Do we just get so comfortable with each other that we don't care or is it just what marriage is all about?  There are great mothers and great fathers, but those same exact people fail to be great wives and husbands at times. And then we keep passing this awesome bad marriage genes to generations. I have my advice ready for when V turns 21 (He doesn't care at that point but I am still going to tell him). Don't get married. If you do get married, don't have kids. Every one goes in thinking, "I am not going to do that to my kid" or "I will make sure I am not my mom/dad". But guess what? You are blood/dna/genes of your parents. You can not escape from it. And there in lies the problem. All of them think "I will not do this to my kid" but no one for a second stops to think, "I will not treat my spouse like that". The day that happens is the day we can break the bad marriage gene.


Unknown said...

That's a very good food for thought.. !!!! keep blogging would love to hear some out of the box ideas :) go gal..

Unknown said...

Hi Souju'
After very long gap I saw u blog' in ur reply mail toMadhu. I'm so proud to see my little mischevious
Girl'who used to empty the talcum powder box onthe dresser and dust her face with the powder like a buffoon. Nice reading ur blog articles. Good thought provoking topics. Keep up the good job girl.
Lakshmi Dodda