Dear Nayanamma

I cried for you today. Took me 13+ years to mourn your death. It hit me today that you are not here physically. You are not here in person to celebrate my highs and talk to me during my lows. You are not here to see the man I married. You are not here to see your great-grandson. Vikram is his name. I do get a bit jealous of V at times. He has both sets of grand parents who love him to pieces. I talk to him about you. He loves to hear all the 'Nayanamma Stories' and 'Kadapa Stories'. He would have adored you Nayanamma and you would have loved him.

V's Tosi Pinni is getting married. Can you believe it? My baby sister is getting married. Remember the summer holidays where we would all get together to create havoc in the house as kids. Now I have a kid, Kiki has two kids and Toshiba is getting married. I find myself thinking, it can't be true. She should still be playing with dolls and fighting with Chaitu and Kiki for their attention. Then I remember the day I got married. Jyotattha was saying the same thing about me :).

I am sad that you are missing all of this. However, I want you to know that we are all doing good. The six of us might still fight with each other if we ever get a chance to spend an entire summer in a house. But we still got the love, now it just expanded with the spouses and kids added to the mix.

I love you and I miss you Nayanamma.

This Is Me....Not That

I am not a bitch
I am not PMS
I am not sad
I am not depression
I am not a psycho
I am not PMDD
I am not a narcissist
I am not anxiety

I am a woman
I am courage
I am a wife
I am passion
I am a mother
I am love
I am a friend
I am loyalty
I am a colleague
I am funny
I am me
I am happiness