Jul 2, 2008

Fear of the Unknown

Well, I am going to utter something I thought I would never have to say because I didn't believe in it as much. "Generation Gap" ladies and gentleman, it's called generation gap.

I wish I was raising V in the 80's when I was raised. From what my parents told me, Chaitu and I were good kids and they never had to discipline us and when my mom raised an eyebrow we knew we were doing something wrong and we stopped. My mom at every chance she get's till today proudly says those things to the point I have to be like, "Mom stop. No one cares." They never read "What to expect when you are expecting?", they don't know who Dr. Spock is and what his views on discipline are and they didn't really care to call the doctor the second a bug bit Chaitu in the eye.

What happened in the last 20 plus years? Prabu and I were around kids before we had V. We saw everyone from a brat to well-behaved, anti-social to overly friendly kids. We kinda had mental notes which we never put it down. Whenever we found ourselves judging a kid or a parent, we used to joke saying, "Our kid is so gonna do that and we are gonna go hide in a hole." Now I have this cute bundle in front of me and I feel like I am trying too hard in raising him to be a good, quiet, 'don't-touch-anything-except-your-toys' kid.

Why am I doing that? You want an honest answer. It's because I am trying hard to make sure he stay put when we go out, doesn't raise his voice, ask politely for what he wants, doesn't grab at anything that's not his, stays in his high chair when we go out for dinner. I want my cake and eat it too. But then, notice any parents around you, they are all doing that. They might not be obvious but that's what they are doing. So next time my mom says, "You guys never touched the TV remote", I cannot help but come up with a lame-ass response of, "Mom, we didn't have a TV in our house till I was in 4th grade and that TV in those days didn't come with a remote."

Sometimes, I wonder if we as parents are missing out on enjoying our kid's childhood because we are so caught up on the web of well-behaved children, or may be I need to let it go because I shouldn't be afraid of the unknown or the unexpected behaviors of V that will come across me.

No comments: