Ahhh, I used the 'D' word. Well it's obvious I am going to hell anyways, so what's one more post ;). Few weeks ago CNN had an article about bi-polar disorder in kids. In it one of the doctors says "ideally, as a first line of defense, family support and therapy would be given to the child...". That got me thinking. Because I guess it applies to adults with issues of our own too. How many of us are willing to provide the support without saying things like, "Get over it" or "Fine, take some crazy pills" or my favorite, "You are just using it as an excuse". Hence the title of this post. Depression hurts people. Mental illness does things to a person's brain in a very strange way than we can ever fathom. But you shouldn't hurt people. Would you go tell a cancer patient "get over it". Would you be angry at them for "Getting cancer". No? Then why would you say the same(or be angry) to some one who has mental health issues. For me they both fall under the same category.
V was 4 months old when I started this blog. He will be 4 in few weeks and I still struggle with all the changes pregnancy and child birth has done to me physically and emotionally. The tummy you get doesn't magically go away 3 minutes after the baby is born. So you stay home till you get fit or dare go out and get asked "How many months pregnant are you" and then go back to your dark place again. You go between "aww I love this cute bundle" to "I just want you to shut up and leave me alone for just one minute". Oh yeah, happened 4 years ago. I even posted about it only to get a call asking me how can I post things like that and what happens if someone reads it and finds it offensive. I felt bad and deleted it. Come to think about it, what the fuck do I care? Growing up, my mom's favorite thing to say to me was, "Do not do anything that will make you not look at me or your dad straight in the eye". I am guessing she meant anything illegal or stupid :)(thanks mom). To feel something is not illegal neither talking about it.
One more example of why I think you should talk and you should talk it out louder about your feelings at time. 7 years ago my friend in India killed herself. I don't know why and I probably will never know. Till today I struggle with "Did I miss sending a reply to her mail?", "Did I miss anything that was obvious in her conversations?", "What could I have done". I know there was nothing that I could have done or not done that would have prevented what happened. But it still hurts once in a while to think may be, just may be if psychiatry/therapy was not seen as something for "crazies", may be she would have asked for help. When I first heard the news, after the grief came anger. I thought, "How can you be so selfish and do what you did and leave your loved ones hurt like this". It was only few months ago it hit me why she chose that route (no not because I wanted to kill myself, chill:)). It's the feeling of "There is absolutely no one in this world that can understand me or care for me". It's like the girl in the cnn article felt, "Nobody was on my side". That thought is a very dangerous place to go and that's when your brain tells you to do something, anything to get the attention you want. Some cut themselves, some set themselves on fire and some get to the top of a mountain and scream. All of them need the same thing. Few seconds of attention, a shoulder to lean on and some professional help at times :).
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