Father or Son

7 days before scheduled colonoscopy for dad:

Dad: I think we should post pone it till June.
Me: No dad, it has to be done now.
Dad: I heard it hurts and I am not ready.
Me: It doesn't hurt dad, it's a very simple procedure and you will be on anesthesia.
D: How do you know?
M: because I had to get it done few years ago.
D: But the doctor said it's only for people over 50.
M: The doctor said he likes to have all his patients over 50 to get it done, however young people have to get it done to when we have issues.

Day before procedure:

D: The juice you bought is opaque. Coconut water you got is transparent. It says to drink transparent juices.
M: Dad, here it says you can have opaque or transparent. Then drink the transparent stuff I bought and I will get more if you need.
M: Here, I made fresh veggies broth for you to have.
D: Nah, I don't want to.

After procedure:

M: How are you feeling? You okay? Doc. said they didn't find anything and you are good to go. You want to go home and rest. What do you want to eat?
D: yeah let's go to your place, do you have cigarettes at home?

Oh my god, it was like talking to a 5 year old throwing a tantrum. Chaitu asked me if I gave him a time out. I soooo wanted to. How do you give a time-out to a 60+ year old?

I still love my crazy ass life and I am not ready to trade it with yours yet. Now let me go get him his ciggies so he can have that for lunch.